Lasting Effects....

A few months ago, Julia started really struggling to go to school.

She has loved it, and been going since July. 

Sometime around October, something changed.

Crying began every morning - from the time she woke up, til way after she had gone to class.

I started getting phone calls from her at school, begging to come home.

She'd complain of a belly ache.

She'd complain about being hungry.

She'd say she was scared.

There were even a couple of times when all of the kids had gotten out of the car,

that she'd run back to me, and bang on my windows to come home and not have to stay.

One morning when Trav dropped her off, she threw up in the parking lot.

He calmed her down and walked her to class and stayed until she was ok.

 As we questioned her about what had changed, her answer was always,

"I just want to be home with you, and have more time with you."

We'd have talks about how good it was to go to school, to make friends and learn and grow,

and to have the opportunity to have time away from home and gain some independence.

And who doesn't love recess?!!

Slowly, with the help of her teachers and the principal,

things went back to normal and have been fine again.

A couple of weeks ago, I was sitting at the table with her, 

working on homework and reading her books.

She stopped what she was doing, looked up at me and with great sincerity she asked,

"Mom?  So, since your Mommy grew up and had kids and died....

does that mean now you have kids, you're going to die? 

And after I have kids, I'm going to die?"

My heart sank.

I sat in silence for a minute, then tried to the best of my ability to assure my little girl,

that I was going to be ok.

She was going to be ok.

"Sis, none of us know when it will be our time to go back to live with Heavenly Father.

Sometimes I wish we did.

But, that is part of His plan.

We come to Earth and we follow His example and keep His commandments,

so that we are ready, when it is our time, to go back home.

Heavenly Father needed Grandma Randle.  She is helping him teach others about the gospel.

She is a missionary working hard and preparing for us to be with her again.

Just because she was needed back home early, doesn't mean we all will be.

If for some reason, Mom gets called back home early, 

you will be taken care of just like I was as a little girl.

You have a Daddy who loves you
with all of his heart and he will make sure you're taken care of,

just like my Daddy did for me.

You have wonderful Grandma's and aunts who would love you and care for you,

ladies in the ward who would help, etc.

And, most importantly, I would be with you every day.

You'd feel me near and know I love you......

just like my Mommy has done for me."

Julia reached over and gave me a big hug.

It was then that she told me, "That's why I wanted to be home with you.

I didn't want you to die."

I have known what the effects have been on my life of living without my mom,

but I had no idea that living without my mom 

has had similar effects on my daughter's life as well.

I am so grateful for the Plan of Salvation.

It's no wonder why it is also known as the Plan of Happiness.

Yes, we have to go through trials that at times, tear us apart to the core.

But I cannot imagine, how those trials would be to endure,

without the knowledge of the gospel.

I know without a shadow of a doubt, my Mom lives.

She loves us.  

She cares for us.  

She watches over us as though she were here.

What a blessing it was to comfort my daughter with that testimony,

so that she too, can know for herself that all will be well,

because of a loving Heavenly Father and our Savior Jesus Christ.

 My Beautiful Mom has now been gone as long as she was permitted to stay.

Doesn't even hardly seem possible it's been 28 years.

I miss her as though it were yesterday.

There are times I cry to myself in longing for her.

I'm sure I will continue to do so, as long as we are apart.

A girl always needs her Mom.

I have found great comfort through the words of our prophets and leaders.

Elder Neal A.Maxwell said, 

"A mortal life may need to be 'shortened' by twenty years as we might view - 

but if so, it may be done in order for special services to be rendered by that individual in the spirit world, services that will benefit thousands of new neighbors.

Therefore, though we miss the departed righteous so much here, 

hundreds may feel their touch there.

One day, those hundreds will thank the bereaved for gracefully forgoing the extended

association with choice individuals here,

in order that they could help hundreds there."

President Joseph F. Smith states,
"...Those who have passed beyond, 

can see more clearly through the veil back here to us 

than it is possible for us to see them from our sphere of action.

And therefore, I claim that we live in their presence,

they see us,

they are solicitous for our welfare, 

and they love us now, more than ever."

I know all of this to be true.

I could never deny the experiences 

I have had when the veil has been extremely thin in my life, 

that have strengthened my testimony and taught me these things are true.

I pray all of my children will feel my Mom near them every day throughout their life,

so that they too, will have that burning testimony

and feel the lasting effects that comfort brings.

I love you every minute and every hour of every day we're apart, Mom.