Silver Anniversary -

Throughout the years, Anniversaries are often something Celebrated, looked towards with great anticipation, or something to be honored. Some are held in great esteem, such as a 25th or 50th, where big celebrations are held, or expensive gifts are exchanged. I find myself coming up on one of those big anniversaries. However, I'm not sure I have looked forward to it, honored it, or feel the desire to celebrate it for that matter. Tomorrow marks 25 years that our family has been without it's most special, key member.

That realization is hard to comprehend. 25 years without our Mom. What's even harder to comprehend, is the realization there could quite possibly be another 25 more to go, and even another 25 after that.

Sometimes after I make a post, I feel embarrassed and somewhat shocked at what I am so willing to share in such a public way. Not always knowing who is reading, or where they are coming from, or if I even know everyone that visits this site. Maybe I share too much. Maybe I should be a little more reserved and save some of my more personal thoughts for my own private journal. I have found for myself though, that I have learned from other blogs that I visit. Each of us has something to share, and because of that, those of us visiting, have the opportunity to learn and grow from what others are willing to give.

As this day has been approaching this week, I have debated whether or not to share a little experience I had recently. I haven't even shared this with my husband. I kept it to myself. But as I sit here now, I have realized, this simple truth my daughter taught me, is something worth all of us remembering.

Late one night, a couple of weeks ago, a lot of emotion I had been holding in, seemed to come bursting out as I rocked Julia to sleep. I didn't know she was awake, infact, I was ready to put her in her bed. Just as I was about to do so, one of my tears hit her cheek, which made her look up. When she realized I was crying, she reached up and wiped my chin. "Mommy, why are you crying?" Before I knew it, I found my 32 year old self admitting to my little 3 year old that "I missed my Mommy." She looked at me straight in the eyes, neither of us saying anything. After a minute or so, she wrapped her arms around my neck and said, "Mommy, don't be sad. Jesus is going to come and bring your Mommy. When he does, he will say, here you go, here is your Mommy." I love her so much. I had been praying for peace and comfort, and it was delivered through the love of my 3 year old, as I, her Mommy, rocked her to sleep.

The Savior Will come again, and when that day comes, what a joyous reunion will be held!

The gift given for a 25 year Anniversary is Silver. If you google information about silver it states that "of all metals, untarnished, Silver is the best reflector of light." I hope that when all is said and done, I will have lived my life as a "reflector of the light" Mom taught and shared with all she came in contact with. If I can grow up to be as she was, and is, I will feel accomplished. I long for the day when Jesus will come and say, "Here is your Mommy." Till then, I will continue to strengthen the Faith needed,
to live without her.