From the Moment My Eyes Met His.....

 I knew he was mine.

Kujo

May 1998 - Nov. 14, 2011

I had never had a dog myself growing up, but our neighbors had a pug named Otis that I loved.  Every day when I'd pull in from school, Otis would come to greet me.  I knew I wanted one of my own one day.  A few months after Trav and I were married, I began asking for a dog.  Trav was a little reluctant at first, but eventually agreed.  I began to search through the paper.  Nothing.  We went to the shelter - no pugs.  We asked a friend of ours if her Mom was still breeding her pug - nope. One day over a casual conversation at lunch with Jean Dawson, a lady Trav knew on his mission, I happened to mention we were wanting to buy a little Pug. She piped right up and told us that a lady she worked with had Pugs and thought that her dog was soon to have a litter of puppies.  She promised to call us when she knew more.  Next came the phone call from Jean in May.  "The Puppies were just born, and will be for sale in July.  I'll call you when they're ready."  I knew I wanted a boy, and I wanted him to be the fawn color.  Just like Otis.

Sure enough, the call came.  They were to be for sale the first Sat. in July.  There were 8 puppies to choose from.  Because I wanted first dibs, I asked Jean to call them and see if they'd allow me to drive up and buy one on Friday. They agreed.  Trav had to work late that night, so I called my little Brother to see if he'd go with me.  Next thing I knew, Spencer and I were on our way to Strawberry to get us a puppy. 

When we arrived, they took us to a back bedroom where the litter of pups were in a big box filled with newspaper.  They were THE CUTEST family of puppies I had ever seen.  I quickly started the search for the perfect one.  As Spencer and I counted, there were only 7.  "I thought there were 8 puppies?" I asked.  "Oh, there are, the 8th is around here somewhere!"  As she sifted through the newspaper clippings, out from the corner came the fattest, cutest one of the bunch.  He came out running, and as he did so, slid across the box on his belly and came to a stop with his little eyes looking right up at me.  There was no question.  "I'll take him!" I said.  I think Spencer was surprised at my quick choice, but I knew I didn't need to look any further.  I picked him up and he nuzzled his little flat nose into my neck.  I was his, and he was mine.  We then went into their kitchen where I wrote the biggest check I had ever written in my life.  $250.00.  I remember feeling really nervous to hand over that money, where Trav and I worked so hard during the week to make it, but I knew I wanted him more.  Spencer and I drove home.  This time, I handed the wheel over to him, so I could hold and love my new little friend.  When we got home, Trav immediately fell in love too.  We spent the next few nights up with our newborn, but loved every minute of getting to know him.

 

We had a Biology professor up at Weber who started talking about a "Kujo" one day in class.  That seemed like the perfect name to us for a little pug.  So, once we picked up our puppy and had time to look at him and talk it over, we decided to name him Kujo.  It wasn't until a while later, that we learned Kujo was a killer dog in a Stephen King book.  Regardless, Kuj was Kuj by that time!

For whatever reason, it quickly became apparent that Kuj was MY dog.  He would love and snuggle Trav, or anybody for that matter, but he was mine.  I couldn't leave the room without him hot on my trail.  He slept snuggled up to me.  He sat at my feet where ever I was.  That never changed.

As the years went on, and our children were born, a special bond was forged there.  The kids would play with him, pet him, snuggle him and care for him.  And, for whatever reason, it became apparent that Kuj was Ty's dog as well.  He loved Garrett and Sis, but his choice was to sleep by my side of the bed, or by the side of Ty's. 

Throughout all our trials, triumphs and journey, Kuj has always been there.  He had a special sense of when I needed him.

Almost 2 years ago, we woke up to what we thought was Kuj having a stroke. We thought at that point, we were going to have to let him go. Turned out to be an inner ear disease.  I spent many sleepless nights with him on the couch nursing him back to health.  He rebounded, but was never the same after that.  His health slowly declined.  Over the last few months it became hard for Kuj to walk.  His hind legs were giving out.  Ty and I had to carry him every where.  Upstairs, down stairs, across the kitchen and out to the bathroom.  I knew in my heart it was time to let him go, but just couldn't face that final decision. Eventually his eyesight and hearing were very minimal.  I decided I wanted to wait until Austin was born.  I just couldn't do it before.

Last week, when we had the first snowfall, I watched Kuj try to walk outside and as he stumbled and fell all over, I realized I was keeping him around for selfish reasons, and with the weather bound to only get worse,  I made a couple of phone calls and found a vet who would come to our home.  Because of all our Birthday celebrations and sports last week, I scheduled it for today.  I wanted us to have a day where we were just home and only focused on Kuj.  We spent the last week taking pictures with him, loving him and sleeping by him.  I think Kuj had an idea that something was changing.  As soon as I would stand to leave a room, that little dog of mine would stand up to the best of his ability, and drag himself wherever he needed to go to get to me.  He never left my side.  The last three nights he whined and barked all through the night.  Again, I spent the nights on the couch where I could lay and pet him through it.

Last night we spent time talking about our memories of Kuj.  I laid down on the floor next to him and loved him every chance I got.  I took time in private yesterday to tell him how much I loved him and that I had made this choice out of love for all he has done for me.  We all slept in the family room to be together as a family one last time. 

We woke up this morning, gave him a few treats, then knelt in family prayer.  We thanked our Father in Heaven for allowing us the privilege of being his family and asked for him to be peaceful and free of all pain and suffering. During the prayer, Kuj got up off his blanket and came to lay by my side. The Dr. knocked on the door shortly after and within a few minutes, our Kuj was asleep.  I held his face in my hands and told him how much I loved him and that he would be ok. As I did so, the Dr. said, "He knows." It was so hard to watch, but I owed him that much to be with him when he needed me most, as he had done for me so many countless times before. The Dr. told us that it was the greatest act of love and the best way to say thank you to Kuj, by helping to relieve him from all his pain and suffering. All of our children made the choice to be there as well.  It was a special experience.  We all spent time with him after, saying our goodbyes.

He is buried in a special spot between us and Kuj with his favorite blanket, toys and our family picture.  I think this ranks up there as one of the hardest things I have had to do in my life.  He will always have a part of my heart.

 

 

 

 

Thank you Kuj for being such a loyal, loving and valiant companion.  We all love you very much and will miss you every day, until we are together again.

"My little old dog:
A heart-beat at my feet."
                - Edith Wharton