A Mother's Heart

"The mother's heart is the child's schoolroom."
- Henry Ward Beecher

A few weeks ago, I recorded a show called Boston Med. Ever heard of it? I don't even know if it's still on ABC, but it's a documentary following Dr.'s at Boston Med. I thought it seemed interesting, so I set the DVR to record one episode to see if I even liked it. Little did I know how close this particular episode would be to home. It told the story of a man who was diagnosed with a terminal illness and only had a short time to live. He and his wife had decided before hand, that he would be a donor. After he passed, many of his organs as well as his face were donated. It then followed the man who would be the recipient of the face. I found myself in tears as I watched. It was truly incredible.

Every year on my Mom's birthday, I try to think of some kind of gift I could give her. Usually it is some way I choose to live my life for that year. After watching that story, I decided my gift this year, would be to honor her through her own story. This is something I haven't shared very often, because it's not an easy one to share.

My Mom was an organ donor. Through our loss, others gained help and hope for their loved ones. There were several things that others received, but the one that I know most about was the donation of her heart. It was the 2nd heart transplant ever done in the State of Utah. Usually when someone receives an organ, they aren't given information as to who it was exactly that donated, as well as the family of the donor doesn't usually know for sure who it was that received the organ. Our case was somewhat of a miraculous one however. I don't know all of the details, and may have some of the info. wrong, where it was so long ago, but to my memory, the story is this.....

The woman who received our Mom's heart was told that it was that of a young mother who was killed in an automobile accident. She collected newspaper clippings from the date of the accident and by process of elimination, felt that it was our Mom. Throughout the years, she even collected newspaper clippings of times my brothers and I were in the paper.....assuming it was us. After someone becomes a recipient of an organ, there are a number of Dr.'s they have to see for long periods of time for medication etc., to help their body keep from rejecting the organ. Somehow, one of the people this woman saw, was in some way or another related to our family. After many years had passed, it came out that we were for sure the family of her heart donor. I will never forget the call from Grandma telling us that the woman who had Mom's heart wanted to meet us. Grandma, Grandpa and my Uncle had decided that they wanted to meet her, and it was up to us as to whether or not we wanted to join them. My Brother's and I thought it over and decided we wanted to too. Dad didn't come, I'm sure it was more than he could bare.

As we drove to Sheila's home on the East Bench in Ogden, I remember feeling so nervous. I didn't know how I truly felt about meeting her at that point. When she answered the door and welcomed us into her front room, I remember having an incredibly strong feeling of reverence. She motioned for me to sit by her on the couch. Tears were at the surface the entire time for me. As we sat there and listened to her story and looked through her photo albums, I noticed the pulse on her neck. Here was this woman - A Wife. A Mother. A Grandmother. Living with the heart that first loved me and my family. My Mother's heart. At that moment, she was very sacred to me. I will always remember the overwhelming gratitude expressed by herself and her husband. Never would she have been able to live to see her grandchildren be born, or to experience all she had been blessed to experience if it wasn't for the gift Mom gave her. It was such an incredible moment to listen to her share all she had been given because of that. She told us how she had cared for us all these years by keeping the clippings and learning all she could about us. We all had a bond because of my sweet Mom. As we stood to leave, she asked if she could give us a hug. A piece of Mom lived on through her, and because of that, I couldn't seem to hug her tight enough.

I'm not sure why all the information is kept so secretive with Organ Donation. I assume some families want nothing to do with it all. But for me, it was such a blessing to meet this amazing lady and to hear how her life had been since that life changing day.

A few years ago, I had the opportunity to attend her funeral with my Grandparents. Her children all spoke about her receiving the heart donation. It was touching to see how grateful they all were that they had been given extra time with their mom. They each hugged us and thanked us in their own way. I sat there realizing that Sheila was on the other side probably having a similar moment with my Mom.

Throughout her life and even in her passing, Mom touched many lives. When I say there hasn't been a day go by that I don't think about her, it's the absolute truth. Thought's about her come at least once a day. That in and of itself is a blessing that she is always there, each and every day.

Happy Birthday Mom. I love you. May my heart always be as giving as yours.