On October 17, 1956, one of the most important people in my life was born into this world. Unfortunately, that beautiful life was shortened 28 years later, so she is not able to be here in person to celebrate today. Usually year to year, these days come and go, and it's just me with thoughts and feelings of her. If you don't mind, I'd like to share those with all of you.
There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of my Mom. I am amazed as each year passes, it seems like it should get easier, but here I am 23 years later, missing her just as much, if not more than I did at the tender age of 7. I often wonder what she would look like, how she would dress and wear her hair, what we would do, how she would spoil my kids, where we would travel, where we'd go to lunch while the kids were at school and the husbands at work, where we would shop, how she'd decorate her house, how we'd talk on the phone (would she know how to text?), what she would do while tending the kids, how it would be to give her a hug, would she knock on our door or just walk right in, how it would be to have her meet my husband, what we would do while the guys were at the Priesthood session, what would we make together, would she have us over for dinner every Sunday.....and so on, and so on. I have an empty perfume bottle of hers downstairs in a box of treasures. I used to open the lid and soak in the smell, but over time it too has faded. If I close my eyes and try really hard, I can still hear her voice in my head. Those are things I hold dear.
I was almost moved to tears as we visited her grave the other day to place a flower for her Birthday. I watched as my precious daughter walked hand in hand with Trav towards her Grandmother's grave. It didn't seem fair that my little girl and her brothers would never know their Grandma personally, at least not in this life.
There is a saying that states - When someone you love becomes a part of heaven, heaven becomes a part of your home. I know this to be true. I have had many sacred experiences where I have felt strongly that my Mom is with us, watching over us. Though it isn't easy without her, I know that we will one day see her again. What a joyous reunion that will be. Until then, I will continue to take these days as they come, and I will be grateful for the memories I have. I will teach my children the things she taught me, and I will tell them of her often, so that they too, will love her as I do. My gift to her this year....to live my life in a way that will lead me back to where I know she is. Happy, Happy Birthday my sweet Mom. Kisses and Hugs to Heaven.... and Back!
On October 17, 1956, one of the most important people in my life was born into this world. Unfortunately, that beautiful life was shortened 28 years later, so she is not able to be here in person to celebrate today. Usually year to year, these days come and go, and it's just me with thoughts and feelings of her. If you don't mind, I'd like to share those with all of you.
There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of my Mom. I am amazed as each year passes, it seems like it should get easier, but here I am 23 years later, missing her just as much, if not more than I did at the tender age of 7. I often wonder what she would look like, how she would dress and wear her hair, what we would do, how she would spoil my kids, where we would travel, where we'd go to lunch while the kids were at school and the husbands at work, where we would shop, how she'd decorate her house, how we'd talk on the phone (would she know how to text?), what she would do while tending the kids, how it would be to give her a hug, would she knock on our door or just walk right in, how it would be to have her meet my husband, what we would do while the guys were at the Priesthood session, what would we make together, would she have us over for dinner every Sunday.....and so on, and so on. I have an empty perfume bottle of hers downstairs in a box of treasures. I used to open the lid and soak in the smell, but over time it too has faded. If I close my eyes and try really hard, I can still hear her voice in my head. Those are things I hold dear.
I was almost moved to tears as we visited her grave the other day to place a flower for her Birthday. I watched as my precious daughter walked hand in hand with Trav towards her Grandmother's grave. It didn't seem fair that my little girl and her brothers would never know their Grandma personally, at least not in this life.
There is a saying that states - When someone you love becomes a part of heaven, heaven becomes a part of your home. I know this to be true. I have had many sacred experiences where I have felt strongly that my Mom is with us, watching over us. Though it isn't easy without her, I know that we will one day see her again. What a joyous reunion that will be. Until then, I will continue to take these days as they come, and I will be grateful for the memories I have. I will teach my children the things she taught me, and I will tell them of her often, so that they too, will love her as I do. My gift to her this year....to live my life in a way that will lead me back to where I know she is. Happy, Happy Birthday my sweet Mom. Kisses and Hugs to Heaven.... and Back!
12 comments:
Happy birthday to your dear mother whose life was cut way way way too short. I am so amazed how much your mother, yourself and your baby girl look just alike. Glad you are doing well.
Wow! That was the most heartfelt and moving thing that I have read in awhile. I was in tears by the end. I am caught off gaurd because really I have only met you two or three times yet I feel like I've known you longer. I hope this doesn't sound ridiculous but you have the biggest heart and are such a wonderful person! What a blessing to have memories if but only a few. What a great tribute to your mother. And even though I haven't known your family for very long, I can tell that you are such a great mom. And I'm sure that your mother is so proud! You such a great example, thanks.
Very sweet Sarah. I find myself often wondering what your mom was like. I am sure that you, Spencer and Nate share devine qualities that your mom possessed. Your grandma always says that you act a lot like your mother. I am sure that because I know you I will feel like I have met your mother before when I finally get to meet her.
Wow, I'm bawling! How I would love to have met your mom. Isn't it so comforting to know that you'll see her again? I honestly don't know how people deal with death when they don't have the Gospel. You are one strong woman and I know that your mom is proud of who you are and the choices you've made. I love you!
Sarah you amaze me. You are truly someone who has touched my heart forever. I remember back in the good old days when you had to talk in sacrament on mothers day. It was the best talk and I remember so much of it. I think of what you said often and it has affected me as a mother. In those few short years, your dear mom raised a very wonderful person and I know that she looks down on you with so much joy! Thanks for the good cry...continue on your journey to eternity! Love you so much!!
ps we really need to get together soon..stay strong!
Beautiful words Sarah...your mom can not be anything but proud of you.
Happy Birthday Rosan! I often think about what it would be like to know your mom too! With my mom moving away, it has made me think about that a lot more! I wish your mom could be here to enjoy all of the things you mentioned! I know she smiles down on you and your family! Love you!
Okay you made me bawl. What a beautiful tribute to your mother you wrote. You are such an amazing, optimistic person Sarah. I bet your mother is so proud of you and loves you so much. I know that she is watching over you and your sweet little family each and every day. I'm sure she knows your children personally because she was able to meet them and love them in heaven before they came to earth to be with you!
Sarah,
My heart is touched and has always been touched by you and your mom. I wish you could know how you have affected me. I was never the same after knowing you and your story. Life is quite a thing, isn't it? Someday it will all work itself out.
Sarah, what a tender and sweet post. I'll never forget the first time I saw that picture of your mom and thought it was a picture of you. She lives on in you and you have surely made her proud! Love, tiffany I.
Sarah, what a tender and sweet post. I'll never forget the first time I saw that picture of your mom and thought it was a picture of you. She lives on in you and you have surely made her proud! Love, tiffany I.
Holy cow Sarah...
I am in the library with tears in my eyes because of what you said. I have thought some of those same things about my grandma and grandpa. I never knew my grandpa because he passed away when I was in my mothers tummy. And my grandma just died about 4 years ago. But always wanted her at my wedding, graduation, to see my future children and so on but that wont happen in this life. You have such a sweet spirit. I enjoyed reading your thoughts and feelings.
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